7/15/15 (Autumn)

An update from Scott, Autumn’s father:

“As I sit in bed well after 1:00 AM, I finally find time to get this update together.  The silence between our updates doesn’t indicate bad news, it just means that life has completely overwhelmed us.  Please understand we’ve been through a couple of tough weeks, so please allow me to pour out my heart. In May, the ICU experience was very difficult with very emotional days and nights that we limped through by God’s strength.  Now looking back it seems to be frozen in time.  Life stopped and we lived completely focused on Autumn.  This new phase we have entered is different.  I liken it to trying to merge onto a packed interstate with everyone cruising above the speed limit.  You can’t seem to get up to speed in time to merge safely so you have to force your way in after riding the extra lane for all it’s worth!  The last few weeks have been crazy busy.

We have spent a lot of time preparing the house for Autumn’s arrival.  Her inpatient stay at Craig is coming to an end sometime near July 24th.  We needed to redo all of the bedrooms and finish the basement to handle our new arrangement that would best suit Autumn.  We’ve had some generous people donate their time to help out on the projects that are still underway which has been very helpful.

Of course supporting Autumn in her rehab is top priority so Cinnamon and I are taking shifts at the hospital every day.  We’ve had some generous help from friends to cover three mornings so Cinnamon can come in the afternoons and I follow that up with a late shift after work.  I am pretty sure that the 40 min one way drive that we do many times a day is starting to wear on us no doubt.

So now regular “life” has been added to our scheduled care for Autumn.  This other “life” seems to be a bit bumpy of late with cars that break down, a hot water heater that gave out, a washer that leaks, a very busy work schedule, oh yes and we can’t forget the other five kids that need our attention as well.  I have also started the lengthy process to apply for guardianship with the court so legally, Cinnamon and I can make decisions for Autumn regarding insurance coverage, attorneys, and the very large bills that are starting to come in her name.  Her neurologists agree that she is not able to enter into contracts or navigate normal adult decisions without help.

It has been a lot of stress on our relationships and I certainly have been guilty of melting a bit and saying some things I do regret.  But God is a God of restoration and He has forgiven us and given new life and a hope that can never be extinguished.  I see my own frail attempts to keep it together and I marvel at God’s grace and love.  It’s not conditional and offered freely!  We are used to earning everything we get… so to receive something undeserved shatters our world.  Quite amazing indeed.

Autumn is returning to us slowly.  What I mean by that is she acts like herself in certain ways and then there are other things that her injury has clearly affected.  If you did not know Autumn before the accident and conversed with her now, you wouldn’t see very clearly where she struggles.  She communicates well and is way beyond her initial issues.  But if you know Autumn, you can see the problems she still faces.  Here are a few things she struggles with:  She is very flighty and fidgety and acts like she is 14 again.  She also gets nit picky about our other children when they are together and they bother her easily.  She doesn’t offer much depth to conversations yet and her emotional state is still very shallow.  Her Neurologists are not sure how much of this will return for her and what the timetable looks like. These are the areas we are praying for specifically and we hope you could join us.

As I share this I know it sounds like I am ungrateful for what God has done, but that is simply not true.  I thank God many, many times each day for saving her and the miraculous events He orchestrated for Autumn to be where she is today.  I know others struggle with much tougher outcomes than the one we are dealing with so yes, I do have perspective on that as well.  God gets all of our praise and we are thankful.  But that doesn’t nullify the personal heartache we still feel at times when we move along this rocky path.  This journey is not over and in many respects we are just beginning. Like most parents, God has borne deep within us a passion for our children that cannot be easily quenched.  And so we pray for them and fight for their well being.  And the day that dies in me is the day that God takes me home!

We are real people serving a real God.

P.S.  Stay tuned.  I am putting together a video which chronicles Autumn’s recovery from the second day to our current stage.  I plan on posting it when Autumn finishes her full time rehab at Craig.  I know many of you have never met her and this will give you a glimpse of the wonders God has done in restoring her to this point.”

~Scott